It's so weird to think of me as a mom. I know I have a 5 year old, almost 6 year old-so I've been a mom for almost 6 years, but it still blows my mind that I'm old enough to be a mother-to be responsible for these precious lives. It just made me realize how lucky I am to be a mom. Also-that I'm not as young as I want to think I am anymore- I'm going to be 27 next month. Not sure how I feel about that. It weird...I can still remember being in high school and not having a worry in the world-except what I would be doing that night? It funny, sometimes I think about my little sister, so carefree-she can just go home at night and sleep, not worry about someone waking up, she can leave the house whenever she wants, do whatever she wants, only worry about her..I'm not going to lie, sometimes I wish I was young and carefree again.(only on the especially hard days though) But as much as I loved being young, I love being a mother ten times more. Even though, yes it is hard. I wouldn't change it.
I LOVE being a mom-it is a special, wonderful, amazing, and the most gratifying experience of my life. To hear those sweet boys, say they love me all day long, to get hugs and kissed from them, to hear see them learning new things. To watch them play with each other, and see their little personalities come to life, I could go on and on. It definitely makes me feel like I'm doing something right, in this crazy thing they call motherhood. I'm so blessed to have these boys in my life and so thankful that Heavenly Father trusted me enough to be their mother.
Sometimes though, being a stay at home mom; well I think it has made me a little anti-social. That sounds weird...but if it wasn't for my sisters, mom and the few friends whom I love and see..not enough I might add, I think I would be really awkward around people. I feel like staying home all the time, I've lost all my social skills. Because let's face it, I stay at home most days talking to these little guys all day. Which, don't get me wrong, I LOVE staying home with my boys and being their mom. It's just hard sometimes...I am really shy...when I don't know people very well. I mean if you know me, people would say, "YOU, shy? Never!" Ha ha! And that is true, when you know me I'm ridiculously crazy and loud! Well, that's what everyone tells me anyways. :) So with me being shy, and having a hard time talking to people I don't know anyways, staying home has only made me worse. I think that is normal though..I mean you go form this life; social, friends, parties, never home, staying out late. Then get married, and that changes a bit, but then you have kids, and they are not joking when they tell you that it CHANGES your whole life! You go from talking to people all the time, to just chillen' with your kids all day. I am so lucky that I have my friends who are always there for me, even though they live in different states, and my book club girls whom, I love..My family who I'm still so close too. I would be lost without them all.
I often think..what am I doing with my life? I have not accomplished anything in these past few years. Except being a wife and a mother. I have friends who are successful in the their careers and writing books, and so many others doing things with there lives. I sometimes feel inadequate compared to them all- because, let's face it I'm just a mother. I am running my kids to preschool, Kindergarten, soccer, swimming. I used to think that I was not good enough and I was not sure where my life was going- but I have come to realize that I was meant to be a mother. That is my job, and it will be my job forever. And yes, I still have days when I feel like I have nothing going for me. But most days, I am content just being a mom. I'm just going to focus on raising my boys. I know this is one of the hardest most gratifying jobs in the world, and I'm so lucky to be able to be a mother.
" Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."
- Elder M. Russel Ballard
-"It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it." :)
"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."
"Sisters, we love you. We pray for you. Be strong and of good courage. You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God. You are princesses, destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your 'once upon a time' is now."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf